Just as you can’t please everyone, you can’t expect to be liked by everyone all the time either. I am in favour of being polite and civil to everyone where possible, but there is a time to draw a line under your efforts to please them and move on, because any more is going to be wasting effort and energy you could be using somewhere else.

It could be that their values and motivations are different, or something they really hate happens to be a characteristic of yours. But the point is, you are not responsible for how someone else feels about you. They are. All you can do is try not to deliberately annoy them. After that, it’s up to them. They may choose to dislike you anyway. And that’s not your problem.

When someone calls you something horrible, it tells you nothing about yourself, all it tells you is that they are the kind of person that would call someone that. I’d add that you may want to check if there’s anything you could learn from that – for example i am often misinterpreted as being angrier than I am, but it happens so often that I can’t really blame others for that and need to work out what is happening in myself.

Nobody can be liked by everyone. Even people who seem to go out of their way to be loving and kind to all humanity are still hated by plenty of people. The best thing you can do is just get over it. That’s hard to do for us conscientious types, who like to know that we’ve done nothing wrong, but whether you’re perfect or flawed, someone will take issue with that. Let’s put our effort into something more constructive than worrying that someone doesn’t like us – when the odds are that nothing we do for our whole life could ever change that. What a waste of time that would be.

Sometimes there’s not even a good reason for it. Think about people that you don’t like. Do you have anyone that you dislike for pretty irrational reasons? People who you just won’t like no matter what they do? If you do, then others do too. And you will be that person for someone.

All this of course means that we don’t even really need to be upset when someone doesn’t like us. Rather than this being a surprise, it becomes expected. We can say, “Oh, you’re one of those people who doesn’t like me. OK. Thanks!” And move on.

Maybe don’t say that out loud, though.