When you look at all the things that are going on in your body and mind, it’s no wonder that one day you’re fine and the next you’re feeling terrible. You have a heck of a lot going on, and you don’t need to feel bad that sometimes it gets on top of you. You’re a complicated piece of machinery, and every now and then you behave in unexpected ways. We all do. It’s not just you, although when we’re feeling that way we’re convinced that nobody else is as crazy as we are.

But you know what? Nobody else has the first idea what’s going on in your head, or whether or not you should or shouldn’t be feeling the way you do. They don’t know all the stuff that’s going on inside you or how it all connects. Sure, you reacted differently to the same comment two days running, but you’re not a robot. It’s OK to have big complex feelings that don’t make sense to you. And remember this applies to everyone else too – you just don’t know what is going on behind the smile or frown.

This is why we project our feelings onto someone else. It’s literally too hard to figure out what is going on in our own heads, let alone another person’s, so we simplify it all down to something easy that we have felt, or feel now. I’m tired, so you shouted at me because you are tired. I would never talk to someone like that unless I was annoyed at them, so you must have been annoyed at me or else you would never have said what you said. And so on.

I wish it was easier. I mean, if we could figure out how we were going to react in a particular situation and then make sure that we set ourselves up so that situation went well – because we knew how all the processes work in our head, as if we were mechanical beings – it would be simple, really. Instead we feel differently about the same food on different days, stay up too late, do things that hamper our ability to cope with life, and often fail to comprehend ourselves, let alone anyone else. One of the worst things about being complicated is that if you have a problem, it’s never as simple as just doing what another person did to fix it. Everything about their situation could be vastly different and the whole thing could fail to work for any number of reasons – what day it is, what you had for breakfast, anything.

Your mind is a big place, and I don’t think anyone can fully explore it. Couple that with the fact that the world is always changing, and things get messy pretty fast. I guess I’m really saying you need to give yourself (and others) a break, because there’s a heck of a lot going on.