Yes, you are a miracle, you are amazing and you are able to take charge of your actions to build towards the life you want. And at the same time, there are limits. For one, you can’t talk or act yourself into being invincible. At some point in your life, bad things are going to happen to you. Some of them, you have no say over at all (and others might even be partly your fault, no matter how great you become). And you can take care of yourself as best you can, exercise, eat the right things, avoid anything bad for you, and still you might not – no, make that will not – dodge illness, stress or grief.

I still think that what you believe about yourself, how you talk about yourself, and the things you constantly remind yourself about the life you’re trying to lead will make a massive difference to the life you actually do live. That hasn’t changed. But in this post I wanted to make sure you know that it’s not about eliminating negatives from your life – you can’t. Instead, it’s important to know that while you can’t change what happens, you can choose how you pick yourself up and move on. Negatives come, and in fact it can be very healthy to enter into them fully, to experience them rather than blocking them out – to bring them out in the open and deal with them. And then believe that you will endure, and you will survive. Until you don’t – and you really can’t do a whole lot about that.

No, all the self-belief in the world can’t actually keep you safe. All we can do is get stronger so that when these things happen to us, we have the tools to deal with them. Character, perspective, support, and so on. How you deal with a bad set of circumstances will eventually define your entire life as you repeat the pattern with every dropped plate, every missed bus, every failed relationship.

Just a word about effort. You can not keep giving out indefinitely. You can’t just work your way to complete security. At some point you will reach the end of your strength, or something will happen that you can’t work your way out of it. At that point, you’ll want to have been building the strength of character and network of friends to help you through it.

So yes, it’s important to stay positive, but remember that you can’t control everything that happens to you. Only how you respond to it.